BOTH SIDES

...of the story

Navigate Your Path to Healing After Betrayal With Guidance From Licensed Professional Counselors and Coaches Nathaniel & Tammy Gustafson

…Who’ve Also Been In Your Shoes

...And Now Help You Find Healing

A Webinar Series With Nathaniel & Tammy Gustafson

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Testimonials

Working with Tammy around betrayal trauma has been a massive part of my healing journey. Her expertise and along with her wisdom and life experience, offer a safe place to share and know she cares as she coaches you through invaluable steps towards healing.

- KR

I felt like my life and marriage were at a dead end as I continued to abuse the trust of my wife. Nathaniel’s expert coaching and advice was the turning point in my life, allowing me to find the strength to right my ship, and be the husband I wish I had always been.”

- Grateful husband

After betrayal, nothing is the same.

It feels like you woke up in a nightmare and nothing about this feels like it is your life. Sometimes you just want to pretend like everything can be okay. And then - like a 2x4 out of nowhere - you realize…this is my life.

If you’re the betrayed partner, your emotions are all over the place - which is totally normal. Most days you want it to work, but other days you think it would be easier to walk away. And there is that ever gnawing question of “How do I know he won’t do this again?” You’re trying to find your voice and set boundaries, but you feel like you don’t even know who you are anymore...


If you’re the one who did the betraying, you want to change but everything you’ve tried hasn’t worked, and now it’s all out there. How do you even begin to pick up the pieces? How do you start to regain trust? How do you get her to understand that this time it’s different?

We understand exactly how you feel.

We call this webinar series “Both Sides of the Story.” We bring our years of professional experience and season it with their personal experience of betrayal. We are each other’s greatest consultants and these webinars reflect conversations we have about these difficult topics. You’re getting both sides of the story with us as counselors and coaches as well as husband and wife.

woman-both-sides-of-the-story2

There will be a live Q&A during each of the webinars, so come with your questions.

Both Sides of the Story

2026 Schedule

January

5th Annual Betrayal Healing Conference

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February

Disclosure, Truth, and Transparency

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March

Sexual Addiction: 101

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April

What to Do When it Feels Like It’s Never Going to Be Enough

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May

The Missing Pieces in Your Conversations: Moving from Hard to Healing

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June

When Healing Timelines Don’t Match

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July

Check-Ins that Heal

 
 
 
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August

Breaking the Cycle of Defensiveness

 
 
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September

The Myths We Believe in Recovery

 

 
 
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Both Sides of the Story

2025 Schedule

January

4th Annual Betrayal Healing Conference

NEXT CONFERENCE: JANUARY 2026

February

FOR HIM: Staying Calm During a Fight

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February

FOR HER: Boundaries

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March

How to Trust Yourself After Betrayal

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April

Reconnecting Sexually

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May

Beyond Sobriety

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June

Faith and Betrayal

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July

Live Q&A - July 29 2025

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August

HER WORK: What To Do (And Not Do) To Heal

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August

FOR HIM: Groups and Accountability

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September

Repairing After a Fight

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October

Healthy Detachment

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November

A Picture of Healing

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December

How to Talk About the Past

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Both Sides of the Story

2024 Schedule

January

3rd Annual Betrayal Healing Conference

NEXT CONFERENCE: JANUARY 2025

February

Sex After Betrayal

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March

Post Betrayal: When is it Safe to Trust Again?

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April

How to Grieve: Individually & Together

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May

Anger: Friend or Foe

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June

Dealing with Shame

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July

Navigating Power Dynamics After Betrayal

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August

FOR HIM: The Underlying Reason for Sexual Integrity Issues

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August

FOR HER: Creating a Plan in Case He Does It Again

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September

No Longer in Crisis…but Not Back to Normal

 
 
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October

Telling Your Story

 
 
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November

Dealing with the Parents

 
 
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December

Is He In Good Recovery?

 
 
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Both Sides of the Story

2023 Schedule

June

His & Her Triggers

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July

Conflict, Connection & Communication

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August

Navigating Risk After Betrayal

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September

Power of Empathy

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October

Gaslighting

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November

Navigating the Holidays

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December

The Truth About Forgiveness

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Hi there!

We’re Tammy & Nathaniel Gustafson, licensed profressional counselors and coaches in the betrayal field.

Each of us have our own practices (Betrayal Healing and TenderHearted Men) and take a trauma informed approach when helping clients. 

 

Tammy works with betrayed partners. Nathaniel works with husbands and couples.

We’ve been married for 20 years. Together we have more than 25 years shared experience and expertise.

Us 2

But what makes us different is that we have both the clinical perspective as well as the personal perspective. We’ve journeyed through our own story of betrayal — and emerged stronger on the other side.

We’ve decided to do this webinar series because we know they’re so many couples who desperately want to heal — but aren’t sure where to turn for help.

We bring our unique viewpoints as husband and wife — and our background of working with thousands of women, men, and couples to heal from betrayal.

And we want to help you on your path to do the same.

Both Sides cover - Nov 2023
Join us each month as we shoot straight about what works (and what doesn't work) in healing after betrayal.

September Webinar

The Myths We Believe in Recovery
Recovery after betrayal can come with a lot of expectations, and a lot of advice—about what should happen, how healing should look, and how long it should take. When reality doesn't match those expectations, couples can easily become discouraged, defensive, or stuck. We might cling to things that sound good, but don't actually help.

 

In this Both Sides of the Story, The Myths We Believe in Recovery, Nathaniel explore some of the common beliefs that can shape how both partners approach healing. We'll look at the ways we can turn helpful recovery principles into rigid formulas, and the counterintuitive reality that some of the things we most desperately want—certainty, safety, and ease—can actually get in the way of connection and deeper healing.

 

We'll unpack:

  • the appeal of certainty, and how rigid, linear thinking can turn recovery into rules, rituals, and scorekeeping
  • the ways our desire for safety can lead us toward protection, avoidance, and conditional connection
  • our longing for ease, and how the desire to escape pain can keep us from doing the work healing requires

This session will help both partners recognize common myths that may be shaping their recovery and consider a more relational, flexible, and honest way forward.

 

Join Nathaniel Gustafson for this 90-minute webinar:

  • $39 (includes live access + replay)
  • Includes 60 minutes of teaching and 30 minutes of Q&A
Register Now

August 2026 Webinar

Breaking the Cycle of Defensiveness

Why It Happens, What It Costs, and How to Change

 

 

She may be wondering...

 

Why does every difficult conversation seem to end with him defending himself instead of hearing me? Why is it always about him? Is this ever going to change?

 

He may be wondering...

 

Why do I keep getting defensive? I don't want to react this way, but it seems to happen before I even realize it...and once it starts, I can't stop it. 

 

Defensiveness is a huge obstacle to healing after betrayal. It can leave one partner feeling unseen and unheard, while the other walks away filled with regret, wondering why the conversation unraveled yet again.

 

The good news is that defensiveness doesn't happen by accident. While it never excuses the hurt it causes, understanding what's happening beneath the surface is often the first step toward lasting change.

 

This month, Nathaniel will be leading the webinar solo, with a special focus on the men. Together, you'll explore why defensiveness happens, what it is often trying to protect, and how greater self-awareness can help interrupt the cycle before it damages another conversation.

 

Women are encouraged to attend as well. Many wives have shared that understanding what may be happening internally doesn't minimize the impact of defensiveness—it helps make sense of it. Our hope is that this conversation leaves men better equipped to respond differently and women better able to recognize genuine growth when it occurs.

 

During this webinar, you'll learn:
  • Why defensiveness is such a common response during conflict.
  • The fears, shame, and deeper beliefs that often fuel it.
  • Practical ways to uncover what's really happening beneath your reactions.
  • How to repair the damage after becoming defensive with humility, empathy, and ownership.
  • How to recognize the early warning signs before you're "funneled" and choose a healthier response.

 

Join Nathaniel for this practical and hope-filled conversation as we explore how understanding your defensiveness can become one of the most powerful tools for changing it.

 

90-minute webinar, with the final 30 minutes dedicated to your questions.

 
Monday, August 17 at 3PM ET/ 1PM MT /12PM PT

  • $39 (includes live access + replay)
  • Includes 60 minutes of teaching and 30 minutes of live Q&A
  • Replay will be sent to everyone who is registered within 48 hours
Register Now

July Webinar

Check-Ins that Heal
Have your check-ins started to feel forced, awkward, or like just another task to complete? Do conversations about feelings or triggers often land flat, leaving one or both of you feeling discouraged or disconnected? Maybe you’re trying to “do the work,” but something still feels missing.

 

Many couples know they should be checking in—but far fewer understand what actually makes a check-in helpful. Healthy check-ins are not merely about asking the right questions or getting through a routine. Done well, they can create a rhythm of emotional intimacy that fosters safety, connection, and trust over time.
 

In this webinar, Nathaniel and Tammy will discuss:
  • What makes a check-in emotionally safe and genuinely helpful
  • Why structure matters—but why rigid formulas often fail
  • The role of initiation, responsibility, and choice in healing conversations
  • How check-ins help restore healthier relational dynamics after betrayal
  • Practical ways to foster emotional openness and ask better questions
  • What true engagement looks like when hard emotions surface

You will leave with a clearer framework for creating check-ins that foster connection.

 

This webinar is intended for both men and women navigating betrayal recovery together.

 

Join Tammy and Nathaniel Gustafson for this 90-minute webinar:
Tuesday, July 14 at 3PM ET/ 1PM MT /12PM PT
  •  $39 (includes live access + replay)
  • Includes 60 minutes of teaching and 30 minutes of live Q&A
  • Replay will be sent to everyone who is registered within 48 hours
Register Now

June 2026 Webinar

When Healing Timelines Don’t Match

Does it feel like one of you is moving forward while the other still feels stuck? Are you discouraged by how differently each of you is experiencing healing after betrayal?

Healing rarely unfolds at the same pace for both people. These differences can create confusion, pressure, resentment, hopelessness, and disconnection if they are not understood well. There is a danger of misinterpreting each other’s process, assigning meaning to the gap between the two of you that increases fear rather than connection.
In this webinar, Nathaniel and Tammy will discuss:
  • Why healing timelines are often different after betrayal.
  • Common dangers couples face when one person feels “ahead” of the other.
  • The emotional experience on both sides of the gap.
  • What helps couples stay connected during uneven seasons of healing.
  • The difference between healthy patience and unhealthy avoidance.
  • Tammy’s 4 phases from her Broken to Brave framework and how they help explain healing over time.

 

You will leave with a better understanding of why these seasons can feel so discouraging, what becomes important during them, and how couples can remain connected instead of turning away from each other.

This webinar is intended for both men and women navigating betrayal recovery together.

 

Join Tammy and Nathaniel Gustafson for this 90-minute webinar:

Tuesday, June 16 @ 3 pm ET/ 1pm MT/ noon PT 

  • $39 (includes live access + replay)
  • Includes 60 minutes of teaching and 30 minutes of live Q&A
  • Replay will be sent to everyone who is registered within 48 hours

Register Now

May Webinar

The Missing Pieces in Your Conversations:
Moving from Hard to Healing

After betrayal, conversations can feel like a minefield--either avoided altogether or entered into with the fear of making things worse. Many couples feel stuck between needing to talk and not knowing how to do it in a way that actually helps.

 

In this Both Sides of the Story, The Missing Pieces in Your Conversations: Moving from Hard to Healing, we’ll explore what shifts conversations from reactive and circular… to productive and maybe even connecting and healing. We’ll address the counterintuitive reality that proactive communication, around present triggers and past hurt, can create safety when approached with the right heart posture.
We’ll unpack:
  •  levels of communication and how depth impacts whether something truly lands
  •  good questions and how they can open or close connection
  •  the importance of creating a rhythm for emotionally deep conversations
  •  the arch of healing--how hard conversations that don't immediately resolve can eventually lead to healing for the relationship
This session helps both partners understand what’s beneath the surface and how to move toward conversations that support healing.
Join Tammy and Nathaniel Gustafson for this 90-minute webinar:

Monday, May 18 @ 3 pm ET/ 1pm MT/ noon PT

  •  $39 (includes live access + replay)
  • Includes 60 minutes of teaching and 30 minutes of live Q&A
  • Replay will be sent to everyone who is registered within 48 hours
Register Now

April 2026 Webinar

What to Do When it Feels Like It’s Never Enough

What to Do When it Feels Like It’s Never Going to Be Enough?

 

There’s a moment in almost every betrayal recovery journey where the same question rises to the surface:

 

What if it’s never enough?  

 

Enough honesty.

Enough effort.

Enough healing.

Enough change.

 

And what makes this question so difficult is that it doesn’t land the same way for each person.

 

For him, it often cuts into identity—Am I permanently defined by what I’ve done? Will I always fall short?

 

For her, it strikes at safety—Will I ever truly be secure again? Can I trust what's being rebuilt?

 
In this Both Sides of the Story webinar, we’ll explore where these feelings come from—both the immediate realities of betrayal recovery and the deeper, historic “core wounds” that predate the relationship but shape how each person experiences it.

We’ll talk about why “trying harder” alone often leads to burnout (or white-knuckling), and what it looks like to take a more sustainable, intentional approach to healing—one that addresses patterns, builds new relational skills, and creates space for grief without getting stuck in it.
Because while this may always be part of your story…
…it doesn’t have to define the rest of it.
Register Now

March Webinar

Sexual Addiction: 101

What Are We Actually Talking About When We Say “Sexual Addiction”? 

Few topics create more confusion in betrayal recovery than sexual addiction. For some, the term feels minimizing. For others, it feels helpful. And for many couples, it raises more questions than it answers.
 She may wonder: Is this really an addiction, or just a series of choices? Did this start before me? If it’s an addiction, can he stop… and will I ever be safe?
He may be wondering:
Is this why I haven’t been able to stop?
Where did this pattern begin?
Is calling it an addiction just an excuse?
Join us for this Both Sides of the Story webinar as we explore:
  • What sexual addiction is — and what it is not
  • How compulsive sexual behavior develops over time * The role of family of origin, attachment wounds, and emotional repression
  • Cultural and religious narratives that shape secrecy and shame
  • The difference between sobriety and sustainable recovery
We will also discuss when the addiction framework is helpful, when it may be misapplied, and what meaningful healing requires beyond simply stopping behavior.
 Join us for a 90-minute webinar, with the final 30 minutes reserved for live Q&A.
Register Now

February 2026 Webinar

Disclosure, Truth, and Transparency
How Much Truth Is Enough After Betrayal? 
Disclosure is often named as essential for healing, but for many couples, it becomes one of the most confusing and painful parts of recovery.
She may wonder: 
Do I really know everything?
Why do new details keep coming out?
How can I heal if I don’t trust that he’s telling the truth?
He’s wondering: 
How much do I need to share?
What if I genuinely don’t remember everything?
Will telling more details only make things worse?
Join us for this Both Sides of the Story webinar as we discuss:
  • What therapeutic disclosure is and what it isn’t
  • What are some essential components to make it as safe as possible
  • How much detail is actually necessary for healing
  • The role of polygraphs, including benefits, risks, and emotional impact

We’ll also explore what happens when disclosure didn’t land the first time due to dissociation or confusion, and how healing can still occur, even when full disclosure never happens.

Get the replay

December Webinar

How to Talk About the Past 

One of the most difficult areas couples deal with when healing from betrayal is how to talk about the past. Even if the full truth has been revealed, it is healthy for the betrayed partner to grieve, process, and make sense of the new reality. The past needs to be talked about in order for the relationship to heal.

But talking about the past is often complicated.

The betrayed partner may be shamed or feel a pressure to be “over it by now.” The betrayer may be defensive and shut down the conversation. Even in couples who can talk through it, they may wonder if just talking about it over and over will give them healing and the deeper connection they are looking for.

In order to look at the past in a way that heals and strengthens the relationship, a new set of skills is required.

 

In this webinar, you'll learn how to: 

  •  Offer support so the betrayed partner has space to process, grieve, ask questions and make sense of what happened.
  •  Recognize and stop patterns that shut conversations down — shame, defensiveness, or pushing to “move on.”
  •  Create safety in hard conversations so both stay grounded, connected, and emotionally attuned.

You will learn to have courageous conversations about the past that can build safety, intimacy, and connection for a healthy future.

GET THE REPLAY- $39

November Webinar

A Picture of Healing: What Restoration Can Look Like After Betrayal – and How to Get There

When you’re in the trenches of healing after betrayal, it can feel like you’re underwater. Everything feels heavy, and you start to believe this is how life will always feel. You’re breathing, surviving, and functioning as best you can. The future feels uncertain, and even when steps forward are being made, it’s easy to lose sight of what you’re working toward.

It can be hard to see beyond the weeds. What does it look like when a couple has done the deep work, when safety has roots, and connection begins to feel natural again?

Nathaniel and Tammy have walked this same road. They know what it’s like to be uncertain about the future — and they’ve also experienced healing and restoration in their marriage.

The picture of where you’re headed matters. In this webinar, we’ll help paint a picture of what a healed relationship can look like and share the intentional steps that build one. You’ll learn how to:

  • Communicate openly and honestly, even when it’s hard

  • Build teamwork that encourages and strengthens your relationship

  • Cultivate relational intimacy that connects with the whole of each other

  • Create space for real, sustainable healing — not perfect, not pain-free, but genuine

Get the replay - $39

October Webinar

Healthy Detachment:Emotional Safety after Betrayal

When betrayal enters a relationship, it not only shatters trust—it shakes the very foundation of safety and emotional closeness. For the betrayed, this can leave you questioning yourself and create a state of emotional vulnerability that, over time, can be unhealthy.

 

This is where healthy detachment becomes vital to healing. Regardless of the relationship’s direction, establishing safety is a crucial first step toward regaining emotional stability.

 

In this webinar, we'll explore the role of healthy detachment and how to:  

  • Identify and establish your emotional safety needs
  • Set healthy boundaries around closeness and emotional availability
  • Take ownership of your needs and ensure they are met without compromising your well-being

Nathaniel will also guide the men in how to interpret and respond to detachment in a way that builds safety and prompts healing. He will also guide them in how to manage their emotions in a way that can actually build trust in the relationship.relationships with men who walk alongside you.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

September Webinar

Repairing After a Fight: How to Reconnect Without Avoiding the Hard Stuff

We'll address those awkward days after a fight or trigger. There is a heaviness over the house. No sudden movements. It feels like anything can send you back into the volatility and pain. At least it isn't fighting cats and dogs, but in some ways it is almost worse. In the aftermath, there is no energy...just painfully awkward silence. All you want to do is find a fast forward button so you can start trying to live normally again, but these moments linger.

 

He feels like he is walking on eggshells, not knowing what to say or do--if anything at all. She feels torn, reeling from the most recent wounding, wondering if it's always going to be like this, wanting to let her guard down, but not trusting if he is really safe.

 

  • How fights and triggers can re-open wounds from betrayal.
  • Skills for rupture and repair.
  • Learning to fight for the relationship, not just in it.
  • Providing consistency and safety post fight/trigger.

If you are stuck in a cycle of fights, with each one right on the heels of the other, this webinar is for you. This webinar can help you resolve fights and triggers faster, thus giving your nervous system a chance to deescalate a bit, and giving your relationship some more solid footing.

 

We promise you this: It won't always be like this. Good life is possible (with some intentional efffort)

GET THE REPLAY - $39

August Webinar FOR HIM

Groups, Friendships, and Accountability

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.” – Johan Hari

If you’ve ever sat in a group of men and felt like something was missing—like the conversations stayed surface-level, or the accountability felt more like policing than progress—you’re not alone. Many men doing the work after betrayal are hungry for meaningful connection, but unsure how to build it.

 

This webinar is for you if:

  • You’re in a group but it doesn’t feel transformative
  • You’ve been “holding other men accountable,” but aren’t seeing growth
  • You’re craving deeper friendships with other men on this journey
  • You want to understand the difference between talking about healing and actually experiencing it

 

What We’ll Cover:

  • Why some groups help you grow—and others don’t
  • Common mistakes that keep men stuck in shallow, shame-based conversations
  • What real accountability looks like (hint: it starts with you, not them)
  • How to stop waiting for connection and start building it
  • What gets in the way of friendships between men—and how to push through it

Stop waiting to find “the right group.”
Start learning how to build strong, real, lasting relationships with men who walk alongside you.

GET THE REPLAY- $39

August Webinar FOR HER

Her Work: Reclaiming Your Healing After Betrayal

As the betrayed partner, there is a lot of pressure and confusion around “your work.”

You may have gotten messages, such as:

  • Relationships are 50/50
  • Own your part
  • Figure out how you contributed to his acting out
  • You need to fix it

Those are wrong.

 

The truth is, when your partner stepped outside of the relationship agreement and betrayed you, this is no longer a relationship issue, it is betrayal.

 

Your work is not to fix your partner's betrayal — you need to heal from the trauma and redefine how you will show up in the relationship. This is your work.

 

In this month’s Both Sides of the Story Webinar, Tammy Gustafson is going to debunk the myths around ‘Her Work’ and provide healing steps to focus on, such as:

 

  • Your relationship with yourself
  • Finding your worth, value, and voice
  • Setting boundaries
  • Dealing with triggers
  • How to deal with gaslighting
  • Stepping into your power and strength

If you have been betrayed, this webinar is an opportunity for you to find healing, hope, and understanding of what your healing work looks like.

 

Join Tammy Gustafson for a 90-minute webinar:

  • Tuesday, August 19 @ 3 pm ET/ 1pm MT/ Noon PT
  • $39 (includes live access + replay)
  • Includes 60-minute webinar and 30 minutes of Q&A
  • Replay provided to all registrants
GET THE REPLAY - $39

June Webinar

Faith and Betrayal
When betrayal enters your story and you come from a Christian background, the fallout isn’t just emotional and relational—it’s spiritual. 
 
You’ve tried to do everything “right.” 
You believed that if you followed the rules, stayed faithful, and trusted God, your marriage would be okay. 
 
But now it’s not. 
 
You’re left wondering: Where was God? 
Why didn’t this work? 
And how do I even begin to heal when faith itself feels broken too? 
 
For many betrayed partners, the healing process starts with unburying.
Unburying from the church messages that told them to be quiet, to serve, to forgive quickly, and never question their husband.
Unburying from the guilt of being angry at God. Unburying from the silence that suffocates their pain. 
 
For men, the story is different—but also heavy. They’ve been told to lead, to be strong, to suppress emotion, and that sexual sin is just their lifelong burden to manage. 
Reading the Bible and praying didn’t “cure” them, and now they carry even deeper shame, making them want to hide. 
 
This live webinar is a raw, honest conversation about faith, betrayal, and the damage spiritual messages can do—and how to start healing anyway. 
 
We’re not offering platitudes. 
We’re opening space for the wrestle. 
And we’re offering a path forward—one that makes room for your questions, your emotions, and your faith. 
GET THE REPLAY - $39

May Webinar

Beyond Sobriety
Webinar Series - Beyond Sobriety
 

Are you stuck in a cycle of checking the sobriety boxes, but the same patterns show up in your life? Or unsure what it means to truly be in recovery? Even though you’re clean and sober, nothing seems to be enough to establish safety and trust for your wife?

Sobriety is a central focus in addiction recovery, and gives you a baseline for healing. But lasting recovery is a life of freedom and true change, in every area of your life. To get there requires deeper work that ultimately brings so much more fulfillment, and a life you never thought was possible.
In this webinar, Nathaniel will speak to men about sobriety:
  • What sobriety is and the work you should be doing to maintain it.
  • Why sobriety is not enough and the shift in focus from behavior to character.
  • The different forms of sobriety: Behavioral, Emotional, Cognitive, and Relational.
  • Common stumbling blocks in maintaining your sobriety.
  • What recovery looks like years into the process.
You will learn the tools you need to go deeper in recovery and leave with hope that freedom is possible for you. You will also be given nudges toward demonstrating sobriety in a way your wife can actually lean into.

This webinar is targeted for men, ​​and women; you are welcome to join in.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

April Webinar

Reconnecting Sexually

When Is It Safe to Have Sex Again After Betrayal?

Sex after betrayal is complicated, especially because a "normal" sex life feels like it's been thrown out the window.
She may wonder:
When is it safe to have sex again?
If I don't have sex with him, will it make him act out?
How do I have sex without constantly feeling triggered about what he did?
He’s wondering:
When are we going to have sex again?
How can I help her not get triggered?
Join us for this Both Sides of the Story webinar as we discuss:
  •  Why consent, communication, and connection are non-negotiables for rebuilding intimacy.
  • How to navigate triggers and fears in ways that feel safe and honor both of you.
  • How to rebuild the foundation of a healthy sex life with open and honest dialogue.
You'll also understand how to communicate about sex in a way that may have derailed you before, have the freedom to say yes or no, and co-create a new form of intimacy that honors yourself and your partner.
GET THE REPLAY - $39

March Webinar

How to Trust Yourself After Betrayal

Betrayal doesn’t just break trust between two people—it can make you stop trusting yourself.

If you’re the betrayed partner, you may feel like you ignored that gut feeling that something was off. Or stayed silent when deep down, you knew something wasn’t right. You might feel like you betrayed yourself because you said, “If this ever happened, I’d leave,” but then you stayed, and now you feel ashamed. Or maybe you have spoken up, but your partner continues to gaslight, blameshift, or minimize – which makes you wonder if you can trust your gut.

If you are the one who did the betraying - you may recognize that you deceived yourself in the past and rationalized your actions. When you don’t trust yourself, you don’t have confidence in your recovery. And If you don’t trust yourself, your partner intuitively knows not to trust you either. This is a foundational part of healing for yourself and your relationship.
So how do you start trusting yourself again? 
Sign up and find out how. We will walk you through what you need to do so you can start to build your confidence and trust in yourself.
Join us for a 90 minute webinar with the last 30 minutes reserved for a live Q&A.
GET THE REPLAY - $39

February Webinar

For Her: Boundaries
Are you ready to feel more in control, peaceful, and empowered in your relationships? Learn how to set healthy boundaries with confidence in our transformative webinar.
Discover the secrets to creating a strong, grounded "Personal Circle"—a powerful tool that helps you connect with your true self, take responsibility for your emotions, and communicate your needs effectively with others.
During this webinar, you’ll learn:
  • Why boundaries are the key to a healthier relationship and personal growth
  • Step-by-step guidance on building a personal circle that centers YOU
  • How to navigate triggering situations with confidence
  • Tools for expressing your needs with respect for both yourself and others
  • The mindset shifts that will empower you to take up space and honor your worth

 

Tammy will help provide the clarity and actionable steps you need to know how and where to set boundaries.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

February Webinar

For Him: Staying Calm During a Fight

Have you ever reacted rather than responded? Rather than going to empathy, have you gone to defensiveness...or self pity?

 

Knowing what to do is not enough. You've got to connect with your emotions and practice dealing with them in a healthy way.

 

In this webinar, Nathaniel speaks to the men, addressing:

 

- why you react rather than respond

- how to identify when you are going to defensiveness and self-pity and to learn from them as to not repeat them
- experiential exercises that will teach you how to stay calm

GET THE REPLAY - $39

December Webinar

Is He In Good Recovery?

"How do I know if he's truly in recovery?"
"How do I know if he's really sorry?"
"How do I know it's safe to trust again?"

 

When you've gone through betrayal, women are left questioning everything. And even when he's saying all the *right* things, you want something to hold onto so you know he's headed in the right direction.

 

This month, we're discussing what genuine signs of recovery actually look like. You'll learn how to recognize the subtle shifts in his behavior that reveal whether he's making real changes or simply checking boxes — and know how to discern when something feels "off."

 

We'll also discuss the difference between just "being sober" and what real integrity looks like, plus the common phrases that are red flags that true recovery isn't taking place.

 

Lastly, it will help you give you confidence in knowing if you can begin to lean in again because he is indeed doing the right type of work.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

November Webinar

Dealing with the Parents

November 19th @ 3pm ET/ 1pm MT/noon PT

After betrayal, sometimes dealing with parents and extended family is, let's say, tricky.

 

Parents - whether her or his - have a lot invested in the relationship and sometimes their concern or well-meaning input can interfere and cause additional stress and conflict. In these situations, it makes it harder for the couple to heal and can complicate the already fragile dynamics within the relationship. And if he sides with his parents rather than his partner, it can cause further devastation.

 

That is why we're talking about how to navigate the relationship with parents and extended family this month!

During our time together we'll discuss how to set healthy boundaries, have those tough conversations with parents, and set the stage where your relationship comes first.

 

You'll also walk away with how to:

 

- Prioritize your relationship (even when you're facing all kinds of family pressures)

- Develop a plan on what to share and what not to share

- Recognize and address unhealthy family patterns
- Create a strategy for implementing healthy boundaries with parents
- Understand his role in managing family dynamics
- Work as a team in family interactions
- Understand the impact of family origin stories on current relationship challenges

 

Just in time for the holidays, you'll leave this webinar with strategies to navigate family dynamics and keep your relationship moving toward healing.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

October Webinar

Telling Your Story

After betrayal, one of the hardest things couples face is deciding if—or when—they should talk about what happened with others. It can be daunting trying to figure out whether to say something at all, and if you do, what details should you share? How do you ensure both partners are on the same page?

In our October webinar, we’re focusing on Telling Your Betrayal Story. We’ll help you decide if sharing is the right move, what details are appropriate to share, and how to handle situations where you and your partner have different views on what should be said.

By the end, you’ll have a clear roadmap for communicating with others. We’ll break down different levels of sharing, show you how to identify safe people versus those who may not be, and provide language to politely decline to share or avoid answering follow-up questions when things get too personal.

Join us to feel more prepared and confident about whether—or how—you choose to share your story.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

September Webinar

Out of Crisis, but Not Fully Healed

What do you do when your relationship is out of crisis mode but is not fully healed yet? You’ve decided to stay together — he’s consistently working to repair the relationship - but it’s still early, and there’s still a lot of pain and mistrust.

She’s considering leaning back in, but there’s not enough safety or consistency to feel really secure. Letting her guard down and opening her heart again feels incredibly scary. He’s wondering how to pursue her while handling the potential rejection he might face.

This is tricky, fragile phase after betrayal.

In this webinar, he’ll learn how to initiate conversations that honor the pain of the past while offering hope for the future. She’ll be validated and learn how to proceed with caution, communicating her feelings in a way that moves the relationship forward.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

August Webinar-FOR HER

Creating a Plan in Case He Does It Again

Staying with someone who betrayed you - whether for a month, a year, or a lifetime - feels risky. Betrayed partners struggle with the fear of wondering if he will betray her again. It can be a helpless feeling. Creating a plan ahead of time can help calm the anxiety and clear up valuable mental and emotional space.

 

Creating a backup plan isn’t about expecting the worst but about ensuring you’re prepared no matter what happens. Hopefully, this is a plan that never gets executed.

 

During this webinar, which is specifically for betrayed partners, Tammy will discuss why you need a backup plan, and the essential elements to include so you can face the risk and confidently move forward with a safety net knowing you’re prepared!

GET THE REPLAY - $39

August Webinar - FOR HIM

The Underlying Reason for Sexual Integrity Issues

Sometimes, things aren’t what they seem. This is especially true when it comes to sexual acting out. When he’s had an affair, people might say it’s because “she wasn’t giving him enough sex” or “that’s just the way he is.”

 

Neither is true.

 

Sexual integrity issues often stem from running from negative emotions. He may try to escape with affairs, pornography, or other forms of sexually acting out because he hasn’t learned how to deal with intense emotions.

 

Simply telling someone to “Just Say No” isn’t enough to stop unwanted and destructive behaviors. He needs to learn how to manage the emotions that drive these behaviors in the first place.

 

In this month’s webinar, Nathaniel will be speaking specifically to the men. He will show them how to engage with their emotions, gain the skills to manage them effectively, and stop self-medicating. Additionally, he’ll learn how to better empathize with his partner so he can create a deeper emotional connection.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

JULY WEBINAR

Navigating Power Dynamics

Navigating Power Dynamics After Betrayal

 

The #1 thing that women seek after betrayal is safety. To do this, she must find her strength, set boundaries, and ask for what she needs. That is a healthy, important part of her healing process.

 

However, the betrayer often misinterprets it as her being mean or controlling. He often fears that the power shift will never be rebalanced.

 

This webinar will unpack the power differential after betrayal to help you understand what is going on, how to balance the power differential, and how to lean into healing.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

February Webinar

For Him: Staying Calm During a Fight

February 18 @ 3pm ET/ 1pm MT/noon PT

Have you ever reacted rather than responded? Rather than going to empathy, have you gone to defensiveness...or self pity?

 

Knowing what to do is not enough. You've got to connect with your emotions and practice dealing with them in a healthy way.

 

In this webinar, Nathaniel speaks to the men, addressing:

 

- why you react rather than respond

- how to identify when you are going to defensiveness and self-pity and to learn from them as to not repeat them
- experiential exercises that will teach you how to stay calm

Register Here

JUNE WEBINAR

Dealing with Shame

This month we’ll dig into the intricate layers of shame after betrayal for both partners. We’ll discuss the difference between her shame and his — and how societal norms exacerbate the feeling of shame for both partners.
For the betrayed partner, you’ll discover how trauma intertwines with shame. You’ll uncover how to stop the shame spiral, which is necessary because unresolved shame will rob you of your voice and power, both in how you feel about yourself and your relationship.
For the betrayer, we’ll discuss the nuances of shame and guilt. From feeling like a failure to the tricky dance between shame and avoidance, you’ll walk away understanding how shame sneakily attacks your identity— and what to do about it. We’ll also talk about how to get out of the shame cycle, which can lead to further destructive behaviors.
Together, we’ll unravel the web of shame and give you perspective and guidance for resolving it.
GET THE REPLAY - $39

MAY WEBINAR

Anger: Friend or Foe

Why Anger is an Essential Part of Healing

 

Something that may surprise you:

For a woman to heal from betrayal, you must get angry.
In society, anger is often viewed as a negative emotion — but the truth is, anger is an essential part of the healing process. And it’s a step that can’t be skipped! 

When women can get honest about their anger, it benefits the long-term relationship.

However, there’s a difference between anger and rage, and it’s important to know the difference.

That’s why we're tackling anger head-on during this month’s webinar. We’ll talk about what happens when women don’t get angry and how to handle this misunderstood emotion positively.

We’ll also talk about strategies for how he can support her during the anger process and how not to become defensive. 

GET THE REPLAY - $39

APRIL WEBINAR

How to Grieve: Individually & Together

The grieving process IS the healing process...whether you are the betrayed partner or the one who did the betraying. There is tremendous amount of grief after betrayal.

 

It is very common to hear people say - "I don't know how to grieve." That is true both on an individual level and as a couple.

 

During this interview, Tammy and Nathaniel will explain what it means to grieve, how to handle the intense emotions, and how to grieve together - and separate.

 

We’ll also give direction on how to deal with it so that you can ride the waves of grief — not be overtaken by it.

GET THE REPLAY - $39

MARCH WEBINAR

When is it Safe to Trust Again?

Post Betrayal: When is it Safe To Trust Again?

 

Betrayal shatters trust.

 

For women, you don’t know how you can trust again. And even if you want to trust, how do you know when it’s safe to?

 

Plus, it’s not just about trusting him. You may have lost trust in yourself – you wonder how you missed the signs of what he was up to. How do you trust without feeling stupid if he does it again?

 

For the men, you may wonder what you need to do to regain her trust. How long will it take? Why is she not trusting you when you’re doing “all the right things?”

 

That’s why this month, we’re going to dive head first into trust and discuss: 

 

  • Keys to earning trust
  • How to establish boundaries around trust 
  • When to know if he’s actually doing the work to regain trust 

 

Trust is the cornerstone of healing and moving forward in a relationship, so we invite you to this important talk. 

GET THE REPLAY - $39

FEBRUARY WEBINAR

Sex After Betrayal

Sex is one of the most difficult and triggering ares of healing after betrayal, not only because of the deeply personal and sensitive nature of the topic, but because it also where the wounding happened.
This webinar will guide you and your partner through key aspects of healing sex after betrayal including:
  • how to talk about sex
  • how to know if you are ready to reengage in sex
  • what to do when you have different expectations
  • safety during sex
  • dealing with triggers during sex
  • ...and more!
There are so few safe places to talk about sex, especially after betrayal. We also know that this is a very sensitive and triggering topic. We promise to offer a safe and respectful space and conversation.
GET THE REPLAY - $39

DECEMBER WEBINAR

The Truth About Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such a sensitive topic after betrayal. There are many misconceptions about what forgiveness is, what it is not, when it should happen, and its impact on the relationship.

 

For the betrayed partner, there is often pressure on the betrayed partner to forgive quickly and put it behind her. Most talks about forgiveness leave a woman disempowered and wondering if she is doing it wrong.

 

And for the men who want to repair the relationship, they may desperately seek forgiveness from their partners, which inadvertently makes it about him. And this shuts down the healing process.

 

This month, we’ll explore the intricacies of forgiveness after betrayal, empowering the betrayed partner, and help shed some light on how the man can help - rather than hurt - the process.

GET THE REPLAY - $27

NOVEMBER WEBINAR

Navigating the Holidays

Feel lots of trepidation about going into the holiday season? If so, you’re not alone.

 

The holidays are supposed to be times filled with “joy” and “cheer,” but after betrayal, it can feel treacherous. The betrayed partner often feels unsafe or that they have to pretend in order to make it through family gatherings. The one who betrayed often struggles to not fall back into old family patterns.

 

During this webinar, we’ll discuss how a betrayed partner can protect her heart while navigating and establishing boundaries. And we will walk men through how to maintain sobriety and emotional connection with his partner to help keep her safe.

 

We’ll also discuss how partners can make a plan together about family gatherings (especially the ones with the in-laws…or adult children) so you’re not uttering to yourself all of November and December, “I just need to survive the holidays!"

GET THE REPLAY - $27

OCTOBER WEBINAR

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is one of the main things that keep women confused and stuck after betrayal. Blame shifting, defensiveness, attacking, minimizing, denying, procrastination, stonewalling, lying, omitting….all these play a part in a cycle of gaslighting which leaves her doubting herself and feeling like she’s going crazy.

 

And partners — sometimes — don’t even recognize they’re doing it.

 

During this webinar, women will walk away with an understanding of what gaslighting is, what it does to them, how to recognize it quickly, and what to do about it.

 

Men will also be able to identify their gaslighting behaviors and uncover what they need to do to stop this destructive process so they can repair their relationship with their partner.

GET THE REPLAY - $27

SEPTEMBER WEBINAR

Power of Empathy

After betrayal, a husband's genuine empathy can speed up his parter’s healing. It's about recognizing and validating her feelings, not just "fixing" things. Yet, for many men, tapping into empathy is tough. Emotional barriers, pride, and confusion play a big part.

 

For women, it's crucial to feel their desire for empathy is valid and not seen as being too demanding.

 

Join us for our September webinar on the "Power of Empathy." Husbands will gain tools and understanding to express genuine empathy, recognizing that resonating with their partner’s feelings is crucial — rather than offering solutions. Women will understand their need for empathy isn't about being needy — it's about genuine connection and healing.

GET THE REPLAY - $27

AUGUST WEBINAR

Navigating Risk After Betrayal

Navigating post-betrayal risks can feel scary for both partners.

 

For the woman, leaning back into the marriage sparks uncertainty. She wonders, “How do I protect myself and open my heart at the same time?” Healing means reopening intense pockets of pain — and sometimes, that feels just too risky.

 

For the man, betrayal compounds risk. He now needs to share the parts of himself he likes the least. And he also knows there’s so much riding on his ability to connect with his wife's emotions, but how does he do that when he has little to no experience doing so?

 

During this webinar, we’ll tell you how to navigate these risks safely so you can rebuild trust and communication.

GET THE REPLAY - $27

JULY WEBINAR

Conflict, Connection & Communication

After betrayal, everything is harder. Even simple conversations can veer off the road and burst into flames.

 

A communication mistake on his part can leave her feeling triggered, him feeling he has to be perfect...and both sides feeling hopeless.

 

During this webinar, we’ll unpack how to navigate these hard conversations. He can expect concrete tools (and pitfalls to avoid) to help her deescalate. She can expect to be validated to hold her ground and honor her intuition.

 

It is possible to have healing conversations…even during hard moments.

GET THE REPLAY - $27

JUNE WEBINAR

His & Her Triggers

Join us, Nathaniel & Tammy, for a 90-minute webinar and Q&A we’ll have a frank conversation about His & Her Triggers.

 

Regarding His Triggers, we will cover two things: sexual triggers and brain fog (aka. shutting down). Sexual triggers ignite the neuropathways in his brain and if left unchecked, could lead to sexually acting out. Brain fog often happens in the midst of a fight or in the midst of one of his wife's triggers.

 

Regarding Her Triggers, we will cover how to calm and deal with the triggers of what her husband has done. The physical and emotional intensity associated with triggers can be overwhelming and feel as though you are back at day one.

 

Together, we will address how to understand, navigate, and come out the other side of triggers.

GET THE REPLAY - $27

A Few Questions You Might Have…

Q. Is this for men, women, or both of us?

A. The webinars are for everyone. We recommend coming as a couple, but if you can’t…come yourself.

Q. We can’t make it live? Will there be a replay available?

A. Yes! We’ll be sending out a replay after the event to everyone who is registered. The replay will also be available for purchase for those who did not register. You’ll have access to the replay for one year.

Q. What is the setting? Is it confidential?

A. The webinars will be held on Zoom, so feel free to delete your name and keep your camera off if you’d like to remain anonymous.

Q. How do I sign-up for future webinars?

A. Each month you’ll get an invitation sent directly to your inbox or you can sign up here on the website.

Q. Who should I contact if one or both of us wants to do coaching?

A. Tammy works with individual women. If you’d like 1:1 coaching, email her at tammy@betrayalhealing.com. Nathaniel works with individual men and also couples. You can reach him at nathaniel@tenderheartedmen.com